4/06/2009

Answer to a reader question

Hi, I just found your blog and I think it is a really cute idea. PLEASE don't take this as a bad or mean thing, I am really curious to know how you have the time to dress up, do hair and makeup and take a picture with a toddler in the house. When my kids were toddlers I couldnt even take a shower, most days I never got out of my pjs and make up was a distant part of my history. Please dont think this is negative, I really want to know

I'm not offended at all! That's an honest question and I'm happy to answer.

1. You will find that you will always have time for whatever you make your priority. Dressing nicely and doing my hair and make-up is a priority for me. Some days I don't get to it, but most days I do, because I make the time to do it.

2. I grew up as the oldest girl of 11 children (I have one older brother). I'm used to carrying a baby on my hip, while a toddler is crawling at my feet, and a 4 yr old is tugging at my sleeves asking me for lunch. Now that I have only one child, I feel I have a TON of time, more so than when I was single and working full time and in law school full time! I still work full time from home as a paralegal, but find myself with plenty of time in the day to get dressed nice.

3. Sometimes I only get dressed at whatever time a day I need to. This means that sometimes I don't get dressed until 3PM (just before I run out to get the groceries). I may have spent all morning and most of the day in my PJs while working, but I always take 10 to 20 minutes to get ready before I head out the door.

4. Call me old fashioned, but my way of showing my husband that he is a priority to me is by caring about the way I look for him. I always want my son to see that his father is my first priority. A happy marriage is a happy family. So if that means my son has to manage without me for 20 minutes a day while I primp - so be it. It shows my son that I care enough about his father and even him to consider the way I look on their behalf.

5. The way I train children (my Mom taught me how to do this with my siblings, and I did it with my son) is to be independent and not be demanding of my time. I sleep trained my son to sleep at least 8 hours through the night as soon as he weighed enough to do so (he was 4 weeks old). Then, I taught him to play by himself by leaving him alone (in a safe environment and within my eye sight), and not coming to him as soon as he needed something. It taught him that he can't have Mommy for just any old reason, and now he plays by himself quite nicely while I get work done around the house, work as a paralegal, and of course, take time to get dressed.

Now, this doesn't mean I ignore my son all day, or anything like that! We have a lot of "mommy" time, but it does mean that I have set boundaries for my son so that he is not so demanding of me. This leaves me with plenty of time to get dressed. :-)

Also, my circumstances of having only one toddler, and a toddler who happens to be very compliant, may be totally different than what you went through. Maybe you had twins, or you had a cholic infant. I don't know what your circumstances were, but I can certainly understand why a mom may not have time to get dressed up every day, and don't think anything is wrong with that. Being a mother is a wonderful thing and that should certainly take priority over primping in front of the mirror! I'm sure your children are very grateful for the time you invested in their lives...there is always time later when they are grown to get dressed nice!

-Nic

Not taking negatively at all! I grew up in a family of 11 children (I'm one of the "older" kids) and lets just say I learned how to multi-task. I only have one child who is two. When she naps, or if she is happy, that is when I get dressed and do my make-up. Sometimes she is crying in the back ground but I never leave her for very long. She is a good kid and loves to help "dress mommy" and play in my shoes while I get ready, etc. That's not to say I haven't answered the front door with only one eye done in make-up and the other half of my face un-done...but I usually can find at least 15min to put on clothes and get dressed.

-Missi

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